"Where do you find the strength? I wish I could do that, but you are stronger than I am."
"How do you have the energy? Most days, I don’t even have enough energy to get out of bed."
"Where would I even begin? There’s so much to do."
"How did you find the courage to start over? I think it’s too late."
Over the past few years, I have encountered many women asking me these questions and making these statements, wanting to learn more about my experiences. Following an 18-year marriage and being a stay-at-home mom with a Younique home business, as well as working at the school cafeteria after my youngest child started school, my life took a drastic turn, and I had to start anew. Faced with the need to support myself and my children, I was determined not to rent a home but to own my own property, so I embarked on a mission.
Despite being aware of the unfavorable statistics and the challenging odds as a 43-year-old woman embarking on a new career and purchasing a home independently, I found myself undeterred. Let me clarify, I was indeed scared and experienced a range of emotions including anxiety, tears, anger, frustration, and sadness throughout. However, perhaps initially, these feelings were what motivated me.
What I had realized was that I was setting a precedent for my children. I could either settle for mediocrity while my dreams took a back seat and my happiness remained sporadic. Alternatively, I could demonstrate to them that I had the power to steer my own life and opt for happiness despite the challenges. I could illustrate to them that pursuing dreams and personal success might be tough and full of obstacles, but ultimately fulfilling. Even when faced with setbacks and failures, I could rise, dust myself off, and try again, knowing that it's never too late.
When I shifted my perspective in that direction, the decision became clear. I understood that the journey ahead would present one of the most significant challenges I had ever encountered.
This is the reason why I refer to it as the motivation mountain.
Step 1- WHY CLIMB
Deciding to climb the mountain may seem simple at first glance. However, upon closer inspection, one realizes the challenges ahead. A mountain's path is not straightforward; it involves ups and downs, possible setbacks, and the need for breaks. It's common to feel overwhelmed and doubt reaching the summit. When confronted with such a daunting task, many opt for the easier route of admiring the mountain from beneath a beautiful tree instead of embarking on the climb.
However, merely observing from the sidelines wasn't going to lead me to a position where I could set a positive example for my children, which I knew they required. Therefore, every day, I pondered on the narrative that my children would pass down to my grandchildren or great-grandchildren about me. What would my lasting impact be? How could I empower the generations to come? I envisioned the kind of story I wanted them to share. The reality is, there were numerous occasions when I craved comfort. Yet, if I had chosen that path, my legacy would have been limited to being perceived as a discontented parent who excelled at preparing delicious meals and hosting enjoyable Christmas gatherings for everyone. She also dabbled in a makeup business, but that was the extent of it.
Or the story could be extraordinary, where they speak of a woman who overcame challenges and exceeded expectations. Despite her blindness, she courageously set out on a path to achieve success as a business owner, motivating others to follow their aspirations. She was a committed and altruistic individual within the community. Against all odds, she purchased a home on her own for us to enjoy and inherit. Upholding firm values and beliefs, she never hesitated to voice her opinions, even in difficult situations. By valuing her own happiness, she taught us the importance of prioritizing our own well-being too.
It was the narrative I envisioned my children sharing in the future, and I understood that only my actions could bring this vision to life. This marks the first step of the journey towards motivation mountain - discovering your Why, your purpose.
Step 2- GATHER A CHEERING SECTION
One key factor that contributed to maintaining my motivation was having a support system. My community provided encouragement, but it was crucial for me to be transparent with them about my circumstances and goals.
My mother, who has consistently been a source of support, played a crucial part in this matter. Her advice to my sister and me was to "Be Brave." We even had it inked in her handwriting on ourselves as a constant reminder. She is a wise and astute woman who, during our conversation on this subject, remarked, "We do not coach and encourage our women to take risks for their own success, but rather to prepare and offer support to others on this journey." She is a woman who has faced extraordinary challenges in her life and still mentors others in a similar path... Perhaps that's what resonates with me.
Additionally, I had a few long-time friends whom I trusted to be there for me no matter what. I brought these individuals together, shared my objectives with them, and expressed my need for their support, as I was facing the greatest challenge of my life.
I want to give a quick acknowledgment to my cheering section (you know who you are) for supporting me during the tough times and rejoicing in all my small victories and achievements throughout the journey. I will always appreciate your presence.
Step-3 LEAVE THE DEAD WEIGHT BEHIND
Although challenging, this experience was crucial. I encountered numerous individuals who criticized me with their negative perspectives on my decisions and their judgments about my life and what they believed I should be pursuing. Additionally, there were those who simply disregarded me. It was enlightening to discern who truly stood by me - my friends, family, and supporters. Initially, it was painful. I had not anticipated that this situation would unveil the true nature of my relationships with others, but it did. I recalled my grandmother's advice that to excel, I must surround myself with excellence. I should always strive to be in the company of individuals who are more intelligent than I am and engaged in endeavors that motivate me. Consequently, I began removing the toxic, negative, and drama-prone individuals from my life, along with those who willingly departed. By doing so, I made space in my life for those who uplift me rather than bring me down.
Step 4- FIND A GUIDE
One crucial aspect in scaling the motivation mountain is having a mentor. This mentor should be someone who has already achieved what you aspire to, someone who knows the right paths to take, possesses the necessary mindset to push you when needed, and offers encouragement at the same time. They should be adept at delivering honest feedback in a gentle manner. I was fortunate to come across such a mentor, who was introduced to me by one of the incredible friends I mentioned earlier. He advised me that sacrifices would be required, but the ultimate rewards would make it all worthwhile. He consistently reminded me, not in a direct manner, but through his guidance, that regardless of the business or goal pursued, we are essentially teachers, and the key is to share our knowledge with others. This principle significantly influenced how I managed my business, my life, and eventually inspired me to start this blog. He kept me focused on my mission and motivated me to surpass my initial expectations. He pushed me beyond my comfort zones and never allowed me to settle for mediocrity. I cannot stress enough the importance of having an impartial mentor on your journey for maintaining motivation.
Step 5- MAP YOUR ROUTE
To achieve my goals, I needed to create a detailed plan outlining the steps I would take to secure a job that not only provided for my children but also gave me a sense of purpose. This job had to enable me to purchase a home for my family. After listing my objectives, I prioritized them and devised a strategy for each one to ensure swift accomplishment. While this may appear daunting, the preparation I had done earlier and the support I received made this phase surprisingly manageable.
Step 6- GATHER YOUR SUPPLIES
Supplies are essential for your journey up the mountain. You will require a book or a podcast that focuses on altering your mindset regarding your abilities. While external encouragement is valuable, believing in yourself is crucial. Adjusting your attitude and mindset will be necessary at various stages of your journey.
Below, I can provide links to some of my favorite motivational books.
It's essential to have appropriate attire, as you can't tackle a mountain without the right clothes and shoes. Whether it's for interviews or to boost your confidence, investing in a new outfit or the perfect pair of shoes can make you feel empowered. You don't need to overspend - I found my first power outfits at a thrift store. Dressing in a way that makes you feel fantastic is crucial for your mindset.
It is also important to ensure that your nutrition is on point. I understand that you may be thinking, "Here she goes telling us we need to eat well to make a fresh start." Personally, I wish I had realized the importance of this step earlier, as it truly has a significant impact.
Truly, this is crucial when ascending a mountain or taking on any difficult task.
Ensuring proper nutrition is essential. If your body is not nourished adequately, you won't have the strength to overcome challenges. It's crucial to fuel your body right so you can be there for your loved ones and those you aim to support. While we'll delve deeper into healthy living and nutrition in future posts, my immediate advice is to focus on consuming sufficient protein, staying hydrated, taking mental health breaks, and avoiding food toxins. Remember, what you eat directly impacts your body's performance and mental clarity. Poor nutrition can lead to stress, anxiety, and hinder your ability to recover effectively.
Step 7- THE SOUNDTRACK
So at this point, I had pinpointed my why, I had gathered my cheering section. I had removed the dead weight. I had found an expert and guide, I had made a plan, and gathered my supplies.
The only thing left to do was to put on my shoes and climb. However, there is one essential element you must have - a playlist, a soundtrack for achieving success. I will provide a link to mine on the blog for inspiration, but your playlist should be energizing, able to motivate you even in the toughest moments when you are exhausted, disheartened, and feel like giving up. When you feel like you've reached your limit, play that playlist, and it will reignite your purpose, remind you of your strength, and assure you that it's never too late. I strongly recommend including songs that help release your anger; angry girl music has been a personal favorite that helped me during this period. Additionally, include songs that empower you to conquer the world and resonate with your current struggles. Listen to these songs daily before you start climbing, sing them loudly in the shower or car, and let them move you to tears if necessary.
There is no more advice I can give you other than to simply begin. It's never too late, so go for it, girl! I have faith in you and I am confident that you can achieve this.
I will offer coaching sessions for STEPS TO SUCCESS to individuals seeking assistance in kickstarting these steps in their lives, regardless of their goal.
A nominal fee will be charged for these slots as my time is precious, but I will ensure they are accessible to everyone.
I hope post provided you with some direction on finding the motivation to achieve the goals you aspire to accomplish but often convince yourself that you cannot. As my daughters would enthusiastically say, "yasss queen, you've got this!"
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