The Unhealthy Relationship the Church is Okay Having.

Queer Eye S2E1

An individual that watches HGTV, makeover – of a body or a home – shows, I am not. It is not something that I find causes my heart to beat faster or gets my creative juices flowing. However due to a recommendation from a dear friend to watch Queer Eye S2E1, I tuned in!

This. Episode. Set. My. Soul. On. Fire.

This episode spoke out, lived out and loved out — all of my deepest desires for the relationship between the gay community and the church.

I laughed.

I cried.

I thanked Jesus.

I became completely overwhelmed.

I was consumed by the love of Jesus and his heart for the gay community once more.

When you think of the relationship between the gay community and the church, what are some of the pictures you receive in your mind?

  • Picketing
  • HELL
  • FAG
  • broken, hurting, scared individuals being ostracized.
  • Fear.
  • False justice.
  • Inaccurate truth, without love.

What is the truth?

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside of the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” 1 Corinthians 6:18

Truth #1: Sex outside of marriage is a sexual sin.

Truth #2: Pornography is a sexual sin. (you’re assaulting your eyes, your mind, and your spirit all at one time)

Truth #3: Choosing to live out a gay lifestyle is a sexual sin.

Truth #4: Masturbation is a sexual sin. (You are imagining a person that is not your spouse { I would guess the majority of the time}

Truth #5: Lusting after anyone other than your spouse is a sexual sin.

No sexual sin is less or more severe than the other. Sexual sin is sexual sin. Final. End of discussion.

Truth#6: We. Are. Called. To. Love.

  • First love God, following with love for your neighbors as you would love yourself! I don’t know about you, but I don’t make it a habit of assaulting my heart, my mind or body intentionally. So why would I do that to another who is struggling different than I? (Matt 22:37-39)

Truth #7: We are called to speak truth IN LOVE.

  • “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ. (Eph 4:15) Speaking truth in love develops growth and maturity. It creates a culture of newfound understanding and revelation. It inspires and creates hunger for growth and to be better. You may spin it any way you want in your mind to make yourself feel better. However, yelling fag, or you’re going to hell! Or God hates fags, is in no way loving or true. “For God so loved the WORLD (not the christians) that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life” John 3:16

Truth #8: We are educated over and over again on the dangers of judgement.

  • “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” ( Luke 6:41)
  • “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” (John 8:7)

Truth #9: We are all sinners. However as Kingdom livers, we carry and walk in the identity of righteous and redeemed through our royalty found in Jesus!

  • “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works so that no-one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
  • We (if identifying as a christian and pursuing a Kingdom lifestyle) are children of the light!!!!
  • Light drives out darkness.
  • Darkness CAN NOT be found where the light is.
  • Its impossible!
  • Light is contagious, and it spreads like wildfire!!
  • The church has been so quick to condemn and judge and spew hatred all over the LGBTQ community.

    Choosing a vast variety of tactics over the years: from condemning and brainwashing therapies, to banishing and abusing people who are living a lifestyle of one type of sexual sin. The first instinct of the church instead of love and “lets get to know your heart”, is to condemn, speak false truth and try to force into submission.

    While simultaneously approaching the individual at church with a pornography addiction, the man who cheated on his wife, the girl who is having sex with her boyfriend all being confronted in a drastically different manner. The church takes time to get to know these people. The church takes time to disciple and educate. The church takes time to have abundant grace and mercy on these people.

    The church tends to be on two ends of an unhealthy spectrum.

    Side 1: Refuses to take time, get to know the heart of individuals in the LGBTQ community. It goes straight to judgment, condemnation, and repent. Repent is turned into a scary word instead of the sweet lullaby that it should be.

    • “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” Romans 2:4

    Side 2: Completely embraces the LGBTQ community and has gay pastors. Enabling and promoting those in a lifestyle of not so hidden sin.

    • 1 Timothy 3 – Characteristics of a leader.

    • Intentionally meeting each and every person where they are at. LGBTQ, straight, angry, fearful, ignorant, prideful. Meet them where they’re at.
    • Listen to the heart.
    • Inspire, encourage, help cultivate life outside of pain, fear, anger, insecurity.
    • Build relationship, build intimacy. It is only in that position that you will ever have true influence over another who has been filled with so much rejection, fear and shame.
  • Belong. Believe. Behave.

    For a person to truly accomplish change, it will likely follow the three B’s.

    Belong: First they must feel like they belong. They must feel safe. They must feel accepted, understood, known, seen.

    Believe: Once a person feels they belong, you will have influence to help them hear, see and understand the truth, resulting in belief! The Belief of what is good and true.

    Behave: Once they belong and believe, they become rooted and grounded and that is the point where they begin to behave, going from a sinful lifestyle maybe behaving righteously sometimes to being transformed into a righteous lifestyle, sinning only sometimes. A hunger to behave is birthed out of belonging and believing first.


    • PRAY. Pray for the Lord to give you his eyes so that you may see people all people the way that he sees them. Ask him to give you his ears so you may hear the heart cry and words of people the way He hears them. Ask that He give you his heart so that you may love passionately with an unrelenting fiery force. Ask that He gives you his words so that you are able to speak to people in a way that he wants to speak to them, that people may not be able to hear or understand on their own, in their present state. Ask for supernatural wisdom and discernment as to what the Lord wants to do and what people are experiencing.
    • This is how you radiate light.
    • This is how the world changes.
    • Meeting people where they are at.

    Day. By. Day.

    Jackie Hill-Perry: Gay Girl, Good God

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