Photo by Stephan Seeber on


How do we deal with it? 

My precious family is presently surrounded by death on all sides.  We have encountered it relatively consistently in one way or another for the last sixteen years. Parents, grandparents, uncles, friends. Every loss is different. The pain familiar, yet unique with each occurrence. The process, the emotions – – ever changing.

How do we deal with death. 


one of the most important things to remember when nearing a death and living through the aftermath is there is no timeline on the healing process. There is no  magic solution to make it suddenly better. Do not compare yourself to another when healing from death, and do not expect someone to “just get over it already”.  Death tends to be exceptionally difficult for our carnal minds and bodies to process, comprehend and begin to live again.


  1. Run to the feet of Jesus: His deepest desire is to pick us up off the floor when we are broken and weary.  He wants us to lay all of our burdens down at his feet.  He wants us to intentionally tell him every little detail of what is going on inside of us – even the things we think he will hate (he already knows!).  If you’re mad at him, tell him! He can handle it, I promise.
  2. WORSHIP: Satan loves to use death to defeat us, make us run away from God and hide the deepest parts of ourselves from him.  When we worship we are saying no Satan.  You will set standards, expectations and boundaries in your life when you go straight to Jesus before letting the lies of the enemy manipulate you into hating yourself, hating others, hating your life and hating Jesus.  Bitterness is immediately shut down when you worship. I promise you, few things eliminate the enemy and his schemes like worship does.
    1. lay in your bed soaking up worship music.
    2. dance to worship music
    3. scream out worship music
    4. pray with a heart overflowing with thankfulness
    5. journal

Whatever it takes, just get your worship on!

2.  Find your release: It is imperative that you find a way to release, and process through the vast variety of emotions you are experiencing.

  1. journal
  2. pray
  3. scream
  4. paint
  5. dance
  6. take up boxing
  7. hike
  8. make music (create life out of the death you are presently experiencing!)
  9. Always, always, always ugly cry.  I believe a good ugly cry is one of the most cleansing and therapeutic choices you will ever make for yourself! do it once, do it a thousand times. Do it as long as it takes to release all of the toxins (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually)  that have invaded you from this experience.
  10. run.

Find something that will truly assist you in getting all of your thoughts, feelings and emotions out.

3. NEVER SECLUDE YOURSELF: It is fine, even healthy to take time to be alone and process through the emotions, and new life changes among everything else you could be experiencing right now.  What is not fine is to completely seclude yourself, put up walls and shut the rest of the world out.  Humans were created for togetherness.  We are called to bear one anothers burdens so let others help you along the way.

4. Find your person: find the person whom you trust completely with the good the bad, the worse and the ugliest parts of you. The individual who won’t run away screaming at how you are processing this whole situation.  Find the person that can handle you both irrationally and  put together. Don’t keep secrets from this person and don’t think you have to protect them.

 (choose this person responsibly. do not make it your child) 

4. It is okay to see a therapist! as a mental health professional, to say that I believe in therapy would be an understatement.  Therapy gives you an opportunity to let it all hang out in front of an individual who will be objective, help you process, could pray over you if you find the right one and give you advice on how to proceed.  This person is literally paid to hear you verbal vomit all over them – – so if thats what you need to do go for it! don’t hold back. The amount to which you hold back and save face will have a direct correlation on the amount of benefit you receive from this experience.

5.  IT IS OKAY TO LAUGH AND BE HAPPY: one of the most important things you can do for yourself is be happy and press on.  Find your calling, find ways to honor your loved one. Find fun ways to impart their legacy with your family. Go out with friends, gain new experiences.

live. your. life. 

Never allow your life to end in the midst of tragedy. 

photo of woman wearing white top
Photo by on

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s